After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Are there Seeing Eye humans for blind dogs?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Can you buy something specific at the General Store?
Can you cry under water?
Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
Did you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.
Do blind Eskimos have Seeing Eye sled dogs?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Do married people live longer than single people do or does it just SEEM longer?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as '4's'?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
Does the President Get President's day off?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
Does the White House get mail addressed to 'occupant'?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?
How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
How can quicksand work slowly?
How can someone 'draw a blank'?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
How can they tell that twin lobsters are really twins?
How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?
How can you tell when your out of invisible ink?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
How do 'Keep off the grass' signs get where they are?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot and something cold, cold?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If #2 pencils are the most popular pencils, why are they #2?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?
If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freeedom fighter fight?
If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If corn oil is made of corn, sunflower oil is made of sunflowers and peanut oil is made of peanuts, what is baby oil made of?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
If Pringles are 'so good that once you pop, you can't stop' why do they come with a resealable lid?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, 'Quit while you're ahead'?
If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?
If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive by with their headlights off?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese? One moose, 2 meese?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If two negative make a positive, why don't two wrongs make a right?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If when people freak out they are said to be 'having a cow', when cows freak out are they said to be 'having a person?'
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If women wear a pair of pants and a pair of glasses, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
If writers write, why don't fingers fing, grocers groce, and hammers ham?
If you are bald, what do they put for 'hair color' on your driver's license?
If you arrest a mime, when you read his/her rights, do you bother to tell him/her he/she has the right to remain silent?
If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
If you get cheated by the better business bereau, who do you complain to?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- 'objects in mirror are closer than they appear', how can that be possible?
If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- 'objects in mirror are closer than they appear', how can that be possible?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
If you melt dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
If you take a shower, where do you put it?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Is the opposite of 'out of whack' 'in whack'
Is there a Dr. Salt?
Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for 'monosyllabic'?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
The light went out, but where to?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
What did cured ham actually have that it was cured from?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?
What happened to the first 6 ups?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What is the exception to the rule that every rule has an exception? Does that make this rule right or wrong?
What is the speed of dark?
What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
What's another word for synonym?
What's another word for thesaurus?
What's the opposite of opposite?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
When people lose weight, where does it go?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When we enter the 21st century, will 20th century Fox change its name?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk?
Who tows the tow trucks when they break down?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Who was the first person to look at an egg come out of a chicken and say "That looks like some good eatin!"?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
Why are both male and female ladybugs called ladybugs instead of ladybugs and manbugs?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called English Muffins when they were not invented in England?
Why are they called French Fries when they were not invented in France?
Why are they called Guinea Pigs when they are neither from Guinea nor is it a pig?
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when your toe nails are smaller than your finger nails?
Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
Why do banks charge you a 'non-sufficient funds fee' on money they already know you don't have?
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it's off you can't see to read.
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do people never say 'it's only a game' when they're winning?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why do scientists call it 're'search when looking for something new?
Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the drivway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to 'cure' it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we wash up and scrub down?
why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why does 'cleave' mean both split apart and stick together?
Why does 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?
Why does an alarm clock 'go off' when it begins ringing?
Why does bottled water have an expiration date?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why doesn't 'onomatopoeia' sound like what it is?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
Why is FOOTball played by hand?
Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you always have to put your two cents in? Somebody is making a penny.
Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?
Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that the guy who comes up behind you while you're waiting for an elevator presses the already lit 'up' button -- as though he somehow has magical powers that you didn't when you pressed it the first time?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on 'Start'?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a 'near miss'? Shouldn't it be called a 'near hit'?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a-door?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
Why is the blackboard green?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote? Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
Why is there never an answer to the most important questions in life?
Why is there no egg in eggplant, ham in hamburger, or apple and pine in pineapple?
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why, at a bank, do they have the doors wide open, but the pens are chained to the desk?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
You know how most packages say 'Open here'. What is the protocol if the package says, 'Open somewhere else'?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?